Fertility treatment changed our lives.
Here’s what happened, and why our IVF success story inspired us to help others.
We decided early in our marriage that we wanted to have children. We were in our late thirties and knew it would be a challenge. After two years, we realised natural conception wasn’t working for us. So we went to the local fertility clinic. Four IUI cycles later, nothing. Then an IVF cycle, leading to a positive result but then an early miscarriage. These brief words can’t fully communicate the extraordinary joy we felt when pregnant and our gut-wrenching grief when it ended. Another IVF cycle followed, ending in failure.
And then donor eggs. A difficult decision, but we had to take it. It worked. Brilliant clinic. Fabulous donor. A fetal heartbeat at six weeks. But then, at 12, a rare pregnancy disorder, through no fault of the clinic or the donor. We lost our longed-for baby at 14 weeks’ gestation. It was Christmas Eve.
The next six months almost broke us. But we are fighters and vowed to try again. This time, all went well. The first blood HCG score was solid as a rock. The six-week scan showed a strong heartbeat. At 12 weeks, it was still looked good. Then past the 20-week mark, and we really started to believe it. Our daughter Ida’s birth, 19 weeks after that, was the most ecstatic day of our lives. And then, two and a half years later, the third of three frozen-embryo cycles gave us Coral, our second daughter. Overwhelming joy, once again.
Fertility struggles are like nothing else. Break a leg and there’s a good chance it’ll be fixed. Get the flu and most of us will be okay. But infertility… you’re left with everything or nothing. The experience stays with you, whatever the outcome. And it’s this fertility mindset that so fascinates us, as former fertility patients and current fertility advocates.
We’ve helped and supported many, many fellow patients. True help means kindness, compassion and the right information. And trusting people to make the decisions that are right for them. We want Becky & Ben’s Fertility Spotlight to illuminate the way forward for the new generation of IVF, donor conception and surrogacy patients. So much has changed in the 12 years since we had treatment. The road is still hard, but the options available to people struggling with infertility are burgeoning.
This podcast explores the resilience, strength and lightness we all need on our fertility journeys. The adventure never really stops. If we can give our listeners one thing from this podcast – after all the tips, chats and discussions – it’s a sense of emotional buoyancy. There’s always hope, and when you’re above the waves you can always see the horizon.
